The Bakit List

Bakit? Why, oh why?

Nope, this is not a dying wish list similar to the Jack Nicholson/Morgan Freeman movie. I haven’t gotten to that. Truth is, I want to make sure my own Bucket List will make my wife laugh and not live in fear before that day comes. I promised her that.

Today is the day before All Saint’s day. October 31 is the only day of the year when Pinoys pretend to understand Halloween, dress up funny, and extort good candy from hapless neighbors. Well, it’s not always just good candy. When my brother went Trick or Treating when he was a kid, he had to carry a heavy and ripe pakwan (watermelon) for 5 blocks. Proof that our neighborhood did not really understand what Halloween was all about. They probably thought we just dressed funny while we cutely harassed people for food.

I just got back from another amusing stroll (after errands) from the Manila Memorial park. Let me share with you some of my observations. My pilosopo (read: smart-ass) nature prodded me to ask questions while I observed.

1. Why do we remember our dearly departed on todos los Santos (All Saint’s Day) and take the day-off (or go back to work) on All Soul’s Day? I’ve got this crazy picture in my head where dead people are absent on November 1st and “show up” the next day (All Soul’s day). The dead guy would exclaim to his friend (to dead guy, too, of course) every year: “Manong Fred! Pucha! I missed the party again! Why do they always celebrate on November 1?!”
2. Why do politicians set up ‘Help Desks’ when people think they’re just posing for pa-cute purposes. Picture taking, anyone? Who’s helping who?
3. I stayed for about an hour in the cemetery near an area where an irritatingly loud karaoke system was piping-in pop music. In a span of about 45 minutes, I must have heard the song “Burn” (by Tina Arena) for 5 times. Is the DJ alluding to candles or some dearly departed relative’s infernal abode? Why can’t he do us all a favor and just play it on his iPod? Please.
4. The park is as immaculately clean as heaven when we get there, and as dirty as hell when we leave. Why?
5. Burger King, KFC and a stall selling La Paz Batchoy set up their stall near a family friend’s tombstone. The family friend died of stroke from all the fatty foods. Irony sometimes does have a sick sense of humor. Why do I even think this is funny?
6. Why is the air thick with combined scents of candles, flowers, wax, incence, freshly cut grass, siopao and sago gulaman? I don’t mind really. I just wish I could smell just the siopao and sago gulaman.
7. Why are the traffic policemen positioned near food stalls only? Hmmm…
8. Why can’t I eat dinuguan and puto in a place like this?
9. Why do I crave for hopia when I smell the scent of Chinese incense?
10. Why do I keep asking the same questions every year?

Have a safe weekend and let not the mumu scare you. Remain calm. If you can’t (remain calm), RUN. Don’t forget the bawang. May the force be with you.

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