The Kilikili Dance on Wowowee

Do you eat your lunch while watching TV. You do? Good for you.

Can you watch Willy Revillame in Wowowee while having lunch? I can’t. I have fairly above average hand-eye coordination skills and can multitask much like any average dude with with an average IQ and respectable EQ. I just can’t do both (lunch and watch Willie). My food won’t go down. My wife will get mad at me if I don’t finish my food (gulay and all) saying: “mahal ang groceries! Wag mong sayangin.”

I do admit I did enjoy singing “Boom-Tarat-Tarat” and cheering “Hep hep Hooray” …when I was 7 years old. Now I’m 37 and can’t stand hearing them songs. I feel the fun tunes that I enjoyed when I was a toddler had been unjustly bastardized by hosts who try (too damn hard) to be funny. To make it worse, Willie has 3 gorgeous ladies singing with him: Valerie Concepcion, Mariel Rodriguez, and Pokwang (Yes, I believe Pokwang is gorgeous.). These ladies, beautiful and sexy as they are, sound like ‘pinupunit na yero‘ (torn galvanized iron) and are unfairly portrayed as mere sidekicks who pretend to laugh at Willie’s tasteless jokes while they are jabbed at as well. I may be reading their eyes and nonverbal cues too much but I think it pains them to do what they do with Willie… parang trabaho lang. It’s just not fair to these ladies.

What’s with all the meaningless singing and dancing? I can imagine a balikbayan or a Caucasian American being made fun of once they get back to their homes in the US of A.: “Hey, Bob! Do that dance where you put deodorant on your freakin’ armpit. Come on, do it one more time! Aw… come on Bob!” Poor Bob, he’s going to live the rest of his life thinking Pinoys are morons.

Our househelp sings these songs while doing housework. Even the manong guards hum these tunes. Why can’t they remember good songs from Parokya ni Edgar, Rivermaya, or Eraserheads?

There was a time when the manongs who drive jeepneys, taxis, buses, and tricycles used to sing along to songs by the Beatles, Bread, Crosby Stills and Nash, The BeeGees, Led Zepellin, and even ABBA. Songs back then had meaning and the singers had TALENT. Even the novelty green-minded songs written 30 years ago by Tito, Vic, and Joey had us all hitting the floor laughing. They also wrote great love songs and dance tunes which are still Karaoke favorites. They belonged to the powerhouse groups that established The Manila Sound in Philippine pop history. I say we should encourage singers and songwriters to bring those days back. I don’t know how. I just dream about it.

My brother in Florida couldn’t stand watching Willie. I told him there are other good Filipino shows like documentaries done by both ABS-CBN and GMA. I suggested he try watching some shows whenever he misses us. He refused to subscribe to TFC (The Filipino Channel). He calls it TFC: Too F@#$%^&g Corny.

I feel I may have been too harsh in judging Philippine Prime time TV soap operas. The fact that it affects a lot of people’s emotions before going to bed is a sign that our national consciousness is adversely affected. I somehow feel I should give the soap operas some credit for taking our minds off work while imagining ourselves electrocuting the contrabidas (villains) or empathizing with the quest for justice of the beautiful bidas (heroes) even for just a couple of hours. Sadly, there is more urgency in rescuing our yayas, drivers, our children, and ourselves from lunchtime TV.

Thank God for HBO, The History Channel, and Jeopardy on 2nd Avenue. I can now digest my gulay while watching lunch-hour TV.

Look, sweetie…clean plate!

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