Making Fun of Me

FACT: My wife is an elegantly beautiful lady gifted with gracefully impeccable yet modest class about her.

FACT: I am a handsome gentleman who is as classy as my wife.

FICTION: All my factual statements of self promotion and aggrandizement are always true and reliable.

Okay, you get the picture. I just thought I could be eloquent about circumventing the truth and/or separating fact from fiction. After 10 great months of marital bliss (i.e. honeymoon euphoria), I still get interesting remarks and nonverbal cues from friends and relations. Here are some of them:

1. “Ang ganda naman ng misis mo! Ano ginawa mo?” (Your wife is so gorgeous! What did you do?)
2. An old female family friend looks at my wife and says: “Ang pretty mo.”. She looks at me, says nothing and just smiles. Then she turns to my wife again and says: “Ang pretty mo talaga!“.
3. “Nabili mo na ba siya ng helmet?” (Have you already bought her a helmet?)
4. “Artistahin ang beauty niya!” (She looks like a moviestar!). The friend then looks at me and says: “Artistahin ka din…” (You look like a moviestar, too.) then bursts into boisterous laughter. I’m surmising she must have meant comic actor.
5. “Totoo pala talagang opposites attract.” (It’s true. Opposites attract). I have no comment to that.
6. The best I’ve heard so far: “Huwag kayo magsisimba kapag si healing priest Fr. Suarez ang pari, baka luminaw na mga mata ng misis mo.” (Don’t hear mass if Fr. Suarez, the healing priest is the celebrant. Your wife’s eyes might get healed.)

Honestly, I don’t get offended. I think it’s downright hilarious how people jab you in the gut and try to make good fun of you. At the back of my mind I hear them praising me and feeling jealous for the wonderful fortune and love that has befallen me. My wife is a wonderful person and I’m grateful for this heaven-sent life (I’m also playing mushy air violin as i write).

I hope and pray our children will get her stunning good looks and intelligence…and I hope they inherit my oozing sex appeal and irresistible charm. No objections please or I’ll destroy your reputation on my next post. Peace.